Wendy O. Knows : Sexting

Kristen Wilcox

    “My boyfriend loves to sext me during the most awkward times. Like when I’m in class, or shopping with my mom. I asked him why he likes to get dirty in text at inappropriate times, but in the bedroom he’s usually pretty quiet. Does he prefer the fantasy to us actually making love?” Kat Mccolm

First let’s clear something up right away; if your boyfriend didn’t want to have actual sex with you he probably wouldn’t stay with you. Second, he also probably wouldn’t entice the act through sexting.  The question here is why does it make you uncomfortable? Is it because it is embarrassing to you? Or because he is quiet in bed and not text?
     According to http: http://www.covenanteyes.com, “The National Campaign survey revealed 49% of teens (13-19) believe sending sexts is fairly or very common among people their age; 65% of young adults (20-26) said the same for their age group.” When an on-campus poll was conducted, 30 people were asked if they have ever sexted. Seventeen of the subjects said yes, they did indeed partake in this new form of cybersex. If you look around your classroom that’s almost half of the students in one class. Sexting isn’t as uncommon or embarrassing as it may appear.
      Sexting is a way to express any type of taboo, pictures or dirty dialect, safely behind a screen. Most people feel more comfortable and less likely to be judged when there is a technologic buffer. Because of this people are willing to take more risks and say things they might not have the guts too in front of your face. Sexting can be liberating as we are not as emotionally attached to the words as we would be in person. There is a free reign of possibilities when you can’t gauge the other person’s reaction. Plus writing down what you sexually would like to do is a lot easier than actually doing it. You can tell your friends you’re going to ask that girl by the bar out, easy. Walking over there and actually doing it- hard. This might be why your boyfriend can get sexty but is apprehensive in person.
      If your boyfriend’s sexting makes you uncomfortable, you can approach him and ask him why he chooses to do it at the most inconvenient times. For some the appeal of building up to a sexual situation through numerous sexts is like digital foreplay. Your boyfriend might also get off on the fact that he’s turning you on and there’s nothing you can do while standing in line at the grocers with your mom. If the actual sexts themselves bother you, ask yourself why. Are you insecure with your sexuality or your relationship? Does the modern sexpression turn your cheeks rosy because of the content or the less than private circumstances? “Sexting is a way to be intimate in a crowded place. Like you have your own little secret.” Danyell Weinberg, 22, said
     Another important aspect of sexting is the fact that it does not last. At any time the conversation can be terminated and deleted, just like it never happened. This is appealing because it allows us to dip into this fantasy world, indulge in play time, and come right back. There is no time spent on actually having sex, no repercussions to the risqué banter, (aside from going viral, be careful who you sext!) and the emotional attachment is considerably lower than a real-life experience. So if you make a fool of yourself when you sext, it’s much easier to shake it off than a real-life sex snafu.