Television has torn my family apart

Melissa Conser

Do you think you can dance?  I know I can’t, I lack grace and to be completely honest whenever I dance it’s usually something I picked up from my dad.  My dad can’t dance either.  We’re not alone though, most of the people on that show can’t dance.  
Two years ago The Seagull, a ballet, was performed at the Orange County Performing Arts Center in Costa Mesa.  Since my viewing of that ballet, I have become the biggest snob on what qualifies as good dancing.  At the end of the show people were crying.  If I recall correctly, there were 10 standing ovations.  I might have cried too but I don’t know, 2 years is a long time.  And Rize, a David LaChapelle documentary on the world of clown and crunk dancing in LA, is another good example of people who are talented dancers.  The entire 86 minutes of that movie had me captivated, and when the movie ended I watched it all the way through again.
Because I have been so corrupted with some of the most amazing dancing ever, tell me why (in the hell) would I ever choose to waste my time watching So You Think You Can Dance? or Dancing With The Stars.  The hell with it, let’s throw in American Idol and any other show that involves 3 annoying judges.  

At the end of the day when my nice coffee buzz has worn off but the coffee-induced anxiety lingers, I don’t want to walk into my house and find my mom watching any of the aforementioned shows.  But she is, so I go to my room and I watch what I want to watch.

What do I want to watch?
I want to watch Gossip Girl and The Vampire Diaries. No seriously.  That may come as a shock if you know me.  Or not.  I don’t know.  

I enjoy these shows, but I must say, I have heard some pathetic stories of people trying to replicate the Gossip Girl affect by starting gossip websites.  I have even heard someone say, “I want to be just like them,” here at Saddleback.  Um, you mean you want to be like a seventeen year-old who is stalked by some creep, Gossip Girl, all the time?  Well, I’m not judging you or anything.  I mean, I’m sure it’s… uh…

Anyway,  what I mean to say is TELEVISION IS TEARING MY FAMILY APART.  Just kidding.  But I have to admit when I get home and my mom is watching her “shows,” my dad and I are privvy to watch our own “shows.”  My dad will basically watch golf in his room and I’ll watch my lame teen shows (will I ever live this down?) in my room and my mom will watch dance shows in the family room.  If you are a math person, you realize by now that there are 3 people living in my house and 3 televisions.  Isn’t it weird to think that the number of people living together often reflects the number of televisions they collectively own?

I just kind of wish there was something we could all watch.  We all like to watch Law and Order.  But not together!  That’s a little awkward at dinner time.