Guest column: the power of napping

Jon-o Gazdecki

When people consider the idea of power napping, they tend to think of some Winter Olympics event, possibly something that creatures like bears or Snorlax do to increase stamina and aerodynamics. In today’s world there is a shift moving towards increasing the application of power napping in everyday experiences such as work, school, and driving to get that extra boost of energy you need. The terrible truth is that lack of power napping is causing a loss of over 150 billion dollars in revenue, yes 150 billion dollars! Oh dear, that’s almost as much as that Ryan Sheckler makes.

A power nap can make you more alert and productive but only if you do it correctly. Scientists have been studying the power nap and when to take it, how to take it, what to take before you take it, and so on.

The question that most people wonder is what is the difference between a cat nap and a power nap? Well simple, you have to be a cat to cat nap dummy! Well according to the Work Nap Front (WNF) here is what they say: while a power nap and a cat nap can be considered to be synonymous in terms of duration and effect, the vernacular usage often makes a behavioral distinction. A power nap involves a break from activity, while a cat nap is of a more leisurely nature. Thus, one may take a power nap in the middle of a busy work day, and a cat nap on the couch during a lazy afternoon. Understand?

Well now that I have sold you on power napping, here are some cons of it so I can make you feel confused about what to do. Actually, there are none because sleeping is fun.

Here are some tips you can use to understand how to power nap if you really have trouble going to sleep or understanding the concept.

Find a good place to nap.

Napping at work: a survey by people who were laid off from work due to excessive sleeping found that about thirty percent of people are allowed to sleep at work, sucks, [sic] and some employers even provide a place for employees to nap, like in the freezer to calm down the heart. If your place of employment isn’t nap-friendly, you can take a power nap in your car, or simply find a new job.

Napping on the road: if you’re driving, fall asleep behind the wheel. If your car has cruise control, you’re in good shape. Most wheels have a pillow that can be ejected upon impact, so if you crash, you can rest on the comfortable cushion. Don’t park on the street, there might be robbers outside. Always turn off the car and put on the emergency brake. If it’s nighttime, park in a well-lit area with plenty of people around and lock all of your doors.

Turn off your mobile phone and any other potential distractions. If background noise is unavoidable and distracting, or if you suffer from seeing ghosts and homeless people, putting on headphones with relaxing music may help.

If you’re sleeping during the day and find that bright light inhibits your ability to sleep, wear sunglasses or use an eye mask to simulate darkness.Now after you have found your place, here is simply what you do to start your power nap.

1. Right before you depart to slumberland, consume a cup of Starbucks coffee. The caffeine has to travel through your intestines, giving you time to nap before it kicks in.

2. Close your eye lids and calm down by relaxing. Even if you only get a little rest, you’ll get what’s known as effective microsleep, or momentary lapses of wakefulness.

3. Limit your nap to an estimated 15 minutes. A half hour can lead to sleep inertia, or the spinning down of the brain’s prefrontal cortex, which handles functions like rational judgment. This gray matter can take 30 minutes to reboot your operating system. Now basic human traits will once again be yours to possess, such as vision, short-term memory, patience, motivation, and processing data. Your body requires at least seven to eight hours a sleep at night, and it is OK if you are a couple of hours short of your goal. Power napping will always be an option for you.

Do you understand? Good! Now go out there and sleep on the job so you can save the world 150 billion dollars a year!