Divorce breaks more than marriage
She walked through the doorway not realizing the opposite side would be completely different the next time she passed through. Lighthearted, she is now, but soon a cloud will come over.
Her reality will be destroyed the next time she enters into her house, as the family she once knew will no longer be.
She said goodbye, not fully realizing the extent of the goodbye. Her goodbye meant for the weekend, the recipient’s hug meant forever.
Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time. She’s been here before, when her own parents parted ways. This time it is her dad and his girlfriend. They have broken up, and the children have been blinded to it. The “happy family” is no longer, as the parents are moving house and the children will follow. A pleasant, happy home will turn into a stark, sad house. It is a confusing mess that the children have been thrown into, and now pulled away from.
The parents, engulfed in their own emotions and thoughts, selfishly neglected their children. They have been siblings for the past two years, now they will never see each other. As a viewer of these occurrences, my heart broke.
Usually, I realistically assess situations claiming, “it is what it is”, but for some reason, this does not have to be. It did not need to come about.
The effect of separation and divorce on children is horrific as Larry Billotta writes on his website “Children in repeat divorces (or separation) earned lower grades and their peers rated them less pleasant to be around.”
“If there is consistency and similar oversight and expectations for children when they are doing their work of keeping their rooms tidy,” said Paula Gill-Lopez, professor of psychology at Fairfield University.
The website also mentions heightened psychological problems and the death of a parent has less of an effect on children than divorce or separation.
Why is it so easy for adults to divorce, separate, and share house? Would you make the decision to share a home when there are children involved? You chose to have the children, you chose to be a parent, now why not make a conscious your child’s interest? At the tender age of six and seven, children should be tended to by their parents-not forgotten or dismissed. Certainly not hurt.
“Parents should not guilt themselves into allowing their children to be reckless,” said Gill-Lopez. “Children need structure and consistency, especially in a break-up.”