How to get swole

Son Gohan in position to attack. Courtesy of @DaishoCon-8476

Son Gohan in position to attack. Courtesy of @DaishoCon-8476

Want to have an addiction to drugs and become a Japanese animated character? Well this workout routine might be for you.

WARNING: These workouts may condone illegal substances. Please take at your own risk. None of these tips will help you and you could die. Again, do this out your own risk. Also this all false information and I was kind of curious who will actually do it. If you want to get fit , eat healthy and join a gym, lazy couch potato.

Let us first start by introducing the creator, Son Gohan from the hit series Dragon Ball Z. Clearly you can see how ripped Gohan has become from the picture above, so you have to believe everything he says.

Here are his workout routine and tips to looking like him. Yes this routine works for both females and males, this workout does not discriminate based on gender.

When you wake up in the morning and feel tired, you must slap yourself in the face. Also tell yourself multiple affirmations like, “ I ain’t no bitch, I’m not tired, I am beautiful.” One the most important tips, become cocky.

After you slap yourself and coach yourself, you need a little bit of cardio. You can do this with clothes or naked, however you prefer. Just 50 pushups, 100 situps, 100 crunches, 150 squats and run eight miles, like the film.
When you have completed your task, come back home and start to prepare your breakfast. Breakfast was the most important meal of the day.

Your breakfast consist of three raw eggs because you need the protein and do not feel like cooking. Then you eat an orange with the peel,so you can get your daily dose of Vitamin C.

Make a protein shake. The protein shake includes one grape for fruit, five scoops of protein powder for gain, some milk and spinach like my homie Popeye.

After you finish your meal, you must take your daily dose of steroids that you get from your dealer. Now this was the most important step of all.

This will make you big, angry and one of the side effects includes blonde, spiky hair. Skip hygiene until night-time and for the rest of the day watch Dragon Ball Z as Gohan defends the Earth against evil.

Before you go to bed go break a door, kill a bug, be an asshole to someone, ride a horse, eat a whole package of oreos, and smoke a blunt. After you complete these requirements, go ahead and wash your face with activated charcoal.

Straight up charcoal from a fire, preferably a forest fire. Then brush your teeth with protein powder. For my ladies, you can use Gin to rub off your makeup. After that go to bed and start the routine over again.

You will see results within just three days and then go to the hospital. But who cares because you will have Gohan’s body within three days. Sign up and only pay a fee of $49.99 plus a monthly fee of $100,000.99.