APRIL FOOLS: Horrible starter and drunk reliever give up 18 runs, but Saddleback ultimately wins

The Saddleback College baseball team is back in second place in the Orange Empire Regional Divisional American National League Conference after winning a crazy game against the Cypress College, 26-18. The game was played on the football field, because the playing field of the baseball diamond was too dry and not wet enough.

Abraham Jefferson and Thomas Adams were the players of the game. Jefferson made history by getting four hits in three at-bats, something not even a major league player has done.

“I just felt really good today. I ate a couple of banana’s before the game and I had a Miller Lite right before I went out to my position,” Jefferson said.

Adams also had himself a marvelous game. He hit three home runs in the contest and played all nine positions. Adams gave an interesting answer as to why he played so well.

“Between me and you, I juiced a little bit before the game today,” Adams said. “I mixed apple juice, cranberry juice and orange juice and it was a really fantastic drink.”

The first inning started with both teams scoring eight runs apiece. Saddleback head coach George Johnson was astounded by the amount of runs and he was pissed about his starting pitchers performance.

“We wanted to score runs early, but I didn’t think we would score that many in the first [inning],” Johnson said. “I was pissed about [Quincy Clinton’s] start today though. He really sucked.”

The game didn’t slow down after the first inning. In the second inning the teams traded runs and, after a scoreless third inning, in the fourth inning the teams both scored four runs each, getting the score to 13-13.

“I still can’t believe that we scored that many runs that early,” said bench player Buddy Light. “We could have had the lead, but Clinton absolutely sucked today.”

The scoring slowed down a bit in the next two frames, but it picked up again in the seventh inning, when Saddleback score six runs, thanks to Adams’ third home run of the game.

“When I hit the ball, I knew right away it was a bomb,” Adams said. “I also had a corked bat, so that helped a little bit.”

With Saddleback finally in the lead, Johnson brought in middle relief pitcher Jorge Washington. Washington hadn’t pitched all year and he was belligerently drunk on the mound.

“I brought him in because he paid me $100,” Johnson said. “$100 is a lot for me, considering the school pays me in cafeteria coupons.”

Washington promptly hit eight batters in a row, allowing five runs to come across the plate without a Cypress even swinging the bat. Johnson had had enough and he next brought in ambidextrous pitcher Lyndon Nixon, who struck out the next three batters, ending the inning with the score at 19-18.

Cypress didn’t score in the eighth, but Saddleback put the game away by scoring seven runs, making the score 26-18 going into the ninth inning. Nixon shut down Cypress once again in the final inning, giving Saddleback the victory and placing them in a tie for second place.

“We need to play more games like this. I honestly love when we score this many runs,” Johnson said. “But, I would prefer if our pitchers, specifically Clinton, would pitch better, not suck and not give up 18 runs.”

Saddleback and Cypress will play again tomorrow, in what will be the final time they see each other until the playoffs.

“I really hope we don’t see them in the playoffs,” Johnson said. “They will definitely kick our ass.”