Dolls Kill; Mr. Costumes; Yandy; Wonder Costume; Rasta Imposta Costumes
An opinion piece about 6 horrifyingly sexy costumes on the market this season
We get it, for many people Halloween is the only time of year to dress as sexy as you want without feeling embarrassed or wrong for doing it.
Everyone knows at least one person who has dressed up as the classic: sexy nurse, firefighter or cop. However, people are beginning to get a little bit too creative when it comes to their sexy expeditions.
When I say “creative,” I am not referring to dressing up as something like a sexy fairy, Lola Bunny, XTina or the Blink-182 nurse. Those are good, creative ideas. When I say “creative,” I’m talking about the raunchy, random and ridiculous costumes people find on Google that absolutely no one asked for.
To be fair, not all of these costumes are terrible, some of them are the worst.
Sexy Fidget Spinner
Starting off with a truly unacceptable, short bodysuit costume by Dolls Kill: a Sexy Fidget Spinner. The only thing that makes this costume a fidget spinner is the fact that this company has sewn two spinners on the two most expected locations on this woman’s body that makes it “sexy.”
Genie in the Lamp
This Genie in the Lamp costume is just inappropriate for any occasion. Where does someone even wear this on Halloween? Passing out candy to kids? A party with all the bros? No matter where you go in this costume, it would be problematic and I will most certainly not “rub” you.
Sexy Miss Potato Head
What the hell is this, Mr. Costumes? This is one of the costumes I was referring to that not all of them are terrible, but some of them are the worst. I mean I guess Sexy Miss Potato Head could be kind of funny if you made it funny, but the model in the photo does not look like she’s playing around.
When I think of a Sexy Apocalypse costume, I think of someone trying to survive an apocalypse, maybe with dirt on their face and their clothes all ripped up. This is an explosion. I know that this is photoshopped and you can’t actually buy this anywhere, but I still had to include it because that makes me want to combust (no pun intended).
Sexy Fake News
I love this Sexy Fake News costume by Yandy. It’s relevant, it’s fun, it’s simple and it’s just as ridiculous as the man who coined the term “fake news.” I think that’s all that needs to be said about it because no one really asked for this costume.
Pointer Finger and OK Emoji Couple Costume
Similar to the classic Plug and Socket couple costume, Wonder Costumes’ Pointer Finger and OK Emoji costume isn’t necessarily sexy itself as its goal is more to illude to sex. This costume is just absolutely terrible and I hope to never have to see anybody wearing it in real life. And if you actually use these two emojis together when texting, please reevaluate your life choices.