Lingerie noire

Real-life photos of the lingerie found outside of the east LRC staircase merged into a fictional depiction of a conspiracy theory board. (Daniela Sanchez/Lariat)

It was a Monday like any other Monday. I was on my way to the library, taking the outside staircase that leads to the east side of Saddleback College’s LRC building and that’s when I saw it.

There before me was a piece of a woman’s lingerie, a lace fuchsia bikini bottom. I didn’t know what to think at this point. You see, I’ve sighting these panties for about three semesters now.

I’ve been counting each time I spotted a piece of lingerie on that stair case. Right now I’m at my sixth piece. Divide that by the number of semesters I’ve been here and you’ve got an average of two pieces of lingerie per semester appearing at the same staircase.

To be frank, I was fascinated by this strange phenomena happening at the college. How is someone able to spend money on a kinky undergarment only to leave it behind on an outdoors staircase? Not to mention, the lingerie is left in the exact location every time.

I should have left this case alone, but I had such an insatiable curiosity to find out why this is happening.

Who is leaving behind all these promiscuous undergarments?

Now that I think about it, every lingerie sighting I’ve had at Saddleback usually happened in the morning, meaning that this could be college students participating in some lewd activities early in the morning before school starts. Did it happen at night? I don’t know..

Is this lingerie Banksy just one person, or is it a collective group of anonymous Saddleback students who have nothing to do with each other. Perhaps the lingerie keeper is actually a group prank, a strange tradition carried on from semester to semester. However, it is important to not be hasty and look at all facts before coming to hasty conclusions.

My investigation began when I called a number I could trust. A man with a gravelly voice told me that I would have better luck looking for a group of people called the grounds crew. The ground crew would definitely know have more knowledge of this occurrence.

The next morning, I waited patiently as I spotted a grounds crew member ordering a cup of joe. I waited to approach him until after he finished his conversation with the coffee stand server. I introduced myself in Spanish and began asking questions.

My new friend told me to look for a guy named “V.” I thanked him and hastily left to look for this V.

Unfortunately, I had passed V without realizing who he was. I was blinded by my own internalized stereotyping. For the rest of the morning, I searched for V but there was no trace of him.

I knew that I no longer had time to look for V, but I needed to get answers quick, so I went asking around the campus. It turns out other students have been finding them as well. One source says they found one on Valentine’s day. How classy.

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