To date or not to date

Intimate relationships require various responsibilities and many challenges. With much already on their plate, college students may find difficulty maintaining these relationships while balancing their academics. At Saddleback College, theater students spoke about balance.

In pursuit of balance, many college students must make sacrifices. Certain majors will take on more work than others, leading to the absence of experience majors with less work may come across. Depending on the work load, students could lose time for relationships.

But can it all be balanced? And in doing so, could it make a relationship that much more romantic? For theater arts students, some believe that it is worth it to suffer the slings and arrows of college life and a heavy rehearsal schedule for the ones they love.

19-year-old theater arts students, Jaden Klopfer and Ash Frost, gave a look into the life of a theater arts student at Saddleback College, and spoke on their heavy rehearsal schedule with last year’s musical, “Emma: No One But Herself.”

Ash Frost, a second year theater major at Saddleback who transferred from Orange Coast College, elaborates on her availability during the rehearsal process. Playing a character with solo songs and about 30 lines, her call sheet was anything but light.

“We met every day besides Sunday, pretty much,” says Frost. “Also I started working, so that was like another level of scheduling that I had to deal with.”

As a theater arts major, she has a full roster of classes this year, such as a class for the fundamentals of acting and musical theater techniques. Her performance in the show was also counted as a class. The stress of all these factors weigh on Frost to an extent that becomes overwhelming.

She attributes some of her stress to the constant grind that many actors endure. Frost’s philosophy is that if you’re not rehearsing your lines, practicing your skills or looking for acting opportunities, it’s likely that you won’t find another role.

Frost however finds solace in her partner, Avery Ross, and credits him for helping her take a step back and realize that what she does day to day is commendable and requires a lot of grit that not everyone in college may have the energy for.

“You face a lot of rejection with theater,” she says. “When you have someone that cares and knows you well enough to talk you down from that, it’s been extremely helpful.”

Avery Ross lives all the way in San Diego, roughly one hour and 10 minutes from Frost, so she tends to have little time to see him between rehearsal, school and work, but says that communication goes a long way.

With Ross taking all online classes this semester, Frost shared how that was used to their advantage. She broke down how he would drive up to Saddleback and work on his schoolwork in the library while she was at rehearsal, and they could meet right after.

Avery Ross attends MiraCosta College, and plans to transfer for a bachelor’s degree in political science. He echoed Frost’s thoughts on communication being a very large factor in their relationship’s success.

“A healthy relationship to me is a relationship built on trust,” says Ross. “If you can’t communicate with your partner, you can’t have a relationship.”

Although he is taking online classes, Ross works eight hour shifts at Legoland three to four days a week, and makes time for Frost when he can; if her rehearsal schedule allows it, of course. 

That being said, they typically like to see each other when they are available for most of if not all day, since there is a distance between them. Yet, Ross believes that the distance has brought them closer together as a couple, and has actually improved his time management.

“Balancing everything can be hard, but it’s made me actually have a schedule and schedule my time better,” he says. “The big thing I’ve learned is if you love someone enough you make it work, and I try to make it work.”

As for Jaden Klopfer, a history major with a love for theater, his situation is a bit different. As a first year student at Saddleback, Jaden touched on the drastic change in workload for “Emma: No One But Herself”, compared to the past shows he performed in at Tesoro High School.

“Now, obviously that means I have less time outside of rehearsal,” says Klopfer. “and that doesn’t just mean less time to Sahara. It also means less time for my homework and my job as well.”

With his girlfriend, Sahara Roberts, finishing her senior year in the drama program at Klopfer’s alma mater, she touched on the recent changes that had to be made for both of their schedules after Klopfer graduated high school.

“We were used to being with each other every day,” says Roberts. “Like it was six days a week at most. Now it’s like, ‘Hey, are you free on the weekend?’”

Roberts has taken up many roles in her drama program at Tesoro, including performing in the high school’s yearly musical and fall and winter plays. She is also the team manager for the Comedy Sportz team. All of this, on top of her regular academics.

This has made it quite difficult for them to visit each other, with both of them rehearsing and performing shows at the same time.

For the two actors, they find that although they’re at different schools, being in a relationship while under their current circumstances can actually help strengthen a relationship, and their particular sets of skills can be used to their advantage.

“I would help him with his lines,” explains Roberts. “If I wasn’t helping him, then he wouldn’t have his lines memorized. It’s like having a second person on the side to help you out.”

Klopfer agrees, and vocalizes that being in a relationship is what helps him tap into the more intimate emotions that he couldn’t access before meeting Roberts.

Before ever knowing what it’s like to be in a relationship, “how would I be able to act being in a relationship?”

Klopfer and Roberts reflect on this past semester as a big learning point on how to maintain a healthy relationship while both being in plays and musicals, and see it as a moment of growth for both of them.

“You can go through these times where you don’t see each other for a long time,” says Klopfer. “But as long as you’re trying to communicate actively, just being able to text each other every day has been helpful.”

In terms of support, Ash Frost states that while she gets plenty from her family and friends–and it is appreciated–having that support from your partner, especially someone who may not be privy to the world of theater arts, it’s something that really makes it work.

Her partner agrees, stating that he knew very little about the theater arts before he met Frost, and has since then been introduced to an entire new world by someone who has become a part of his.

“She is also a great performer,” says Ross. “Seeing her perform is great, it’s like a better concert.”

Being in an intimate relationship at this age for a theater arts student is quite the task as the tale has been told by these reputable young actors and their partners. A healthy love life can be achieved however, through the love of theater, love for one another and the love of being busy.

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