April Fools’: The best television and movies to stream while in quarantine

Binge watching child (credit: pixabay)

Your sitting there imprisoned in your own home. It seems you watched all the best television shows and movies streaming has to offer, here at the Lariat we have some bangers for you to waste your time instead of looking up at your 1970’s popcorn ceiling bored out your mind or the need to cuddle with your snappy Chihuahua. We have netflix, disney+, hulu and amazon prime video picks to provide our readers some great ways to waste time.

Netflix

5. The Goop Lab with Gwyneth Paltrow (2020)

Want to watch Pepper Pots run her multimillion lifestyle brand, Goop? What to find your favorite goop product line like goop fragrance, goop wellness, goop sport sessions, goop clothing, or goop by juice beauty. Want to find out what the fuck Goop actually means. Watch Pepper look to psychedelics and questionable advancements for her booming company.

4. Ninja Turtles – The Original Movie (1990)

Grab a glass of some orange Tang and heat up some frozen Totino’s Pizza rolls, press play. You are going to have a cowabunga of a good time. Shut up mom, I’m 35 now, still live in the basement and I know this isn’t the 90’s anymore. But I just want to chill out and have a shell of a good time with the ninja turtles.

3. 6 Underground (2019)

A Michael Bay film that entails a classic Bay formula, fast cars, explosions and good-looking people. What else do you need? This movie will provide a multi-million production feast for your eyes. If you use axe body spray and wear true religion jeans this a movie that will melt your heart.

2. The Laundromat (2019)

A film with caucasian Academy Award Winner Meryl Streep, plays a Latina woman… Wait, what the hell.

1. The Cat in the Hat (2003)

If you adore The Love Guru, oh. If you love “So I Married an Axe Murderer,” your too young. Well okay, if you love “Shrek Forever After” then you will enjoy Mike Meyers dressed up as a cat, before that new “Cats” monstrosity of a movie came to be.

Disney+

5. Iron Will (1994)

You heard of “Balto,” “Old Yeller,” “A Dog’s Journey” or “The Call of the Wild” these films don’t come close to the heartwarming tale of Will Stoneman, a young character who struggles to save the farm, after his father passes away. Will registers for a dogsled race, which the prize is $10,000. Will and his dogsled team race for his family’s legacy. All of those other dog movies don’t have as many dogs’ movies as this one. Wait, Kevin Spacey is in this, just fast-forward over that part then your good.

4. Santa Clause 3 (2006)

The other Santa Clause films don’t come close to what the comedic genius Martin Short adds as Jack Frost and is a worthy foe to Santa Clause. Jack Frost has a plot against Santa to take over the North Pole, while Santa’s in-laws are in town for a visit because Mrs. Clause is pregnant. And worst, the in-laws don’t know Scott Calvin, their new son in law, is also Santa Clause.

3. Herbie Fully Loaded (2005)

This is the best in the Herbie Love Bug Collection, add the “Parent Trap” and “Freaky Friday” star Lindsay Lohan the pair make tremendous duo. But Lohan has to convince her father played by Michael Keaton, a former NASCAR driver, that she wants to walk in her father’s footsteps. But Keaton doesn’t approve and would rather have Lohan’s brother to do it instead. But with the help with Herbie maybe, just maybe Lohan can be thee NASCAR driver her father could be proud of. Five out of Five Herbie’s.

2. Inspector Gadget 2 (2003)

Move over Matthew Broderick, French Stewart is the best Inspector Gadget Disney has to offer. This Stewart’s best role since “Home Alone 4.”

1. Dan In Real Life (2007)

Did you ever wanted to Steve Carell could play a depressed middle-aged man, who intends to sleep on top of stack of pancakes, while trying to raise his three daughters. Dave meets a lovely lady at a bookstore, but unfortunately turns out that this woman is Dan’s brother girlfriend. Trust the title it’s definitely a real life and common occurrence in reality.

Hulu

5. No Strings Attached (2011)

Yes, this dream couple of Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher start as best friends, but after a one-night stand, the two are scared their relationship will forever be tainted. So, the two make a pact that their relationship will have no strings attached. You can’t get a more realistic relationship story.

4. Venom (2018)

Tom Hardy is great in this. Makes me think who would win a fight, Bane or Venom? Hmmmmnn. Leave a comment below on who wins, the black goo guy or respirator dude.

3. A Madea Family Funeral (2019)

Madea is back! This will be the 101st installment in the MCU (Madea Cinematic Universe) and for sure won’t be the last. As Madea’s family are invited to a family reunion that turns into a funeral. Follow Madea and the 25+ other characters Tyler Perry plays in this Tyler Perry Production, that Tyler Perry directs. Starring Tyler Perry, Cassi Davis, David Otunga, Patrice Lovely, Rome Flynn and KJ Smith.

2. Alita Battle Angel (2019)

Based off the manga Alita Battle Angel and is directed by Robert Rodriguez (“Spy Kids,” “Spy Kids 2,” “Spy Kids 3D,” “Sin City”).

1. The O.C. (2003-2007)

Are you an upper-class, rich, white and live Newport Beach, California this show is your looking glass in the situation it entails, drama, drama and yes more drama. If you want any more evidence that this show is number one on the list, does 12 Teen Choice Awards mean anything to you.

Amazon Prime

5. Geostorm (2017)

Forget “Day After Tomorrow,” “2012,” “Deep Impact” or “San Andreas” this a global crisis Gerard Butler and Ed Harris can fix. The two both Spartan kick the living shit out of the geostorm crisis and bring back the world to a harmonious state.

4. The Spy Who Dumped Me (2018)

This movie is whole lot of laughs. imdb trivia: the title is named after a James Bond film, “The Spy Who Loved Me.” How amazing is that?

3. Daddy’s Home 2 (2017)

Perfect for the Holidays around the corner. Odd couple, Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell who become friends after trying to make Ferrell’s new marriage with Wahlberg’s ex and multiple children. But now the two have their fathers, played by Mel Gibson and John Lithgow, visit for the Holidays. Oh my, what could happen next?

2. Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004)

It’s almost 4/20, your welcome Cheech and Chong.

1. What Men Want (2019)

The sequel to “What Women Want,” ladies do you want to know what is actually going through the mind of man. Wait, you don’t care. But this is number… Oh okay, fair enough.

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