Monogamy: Dated and Overrated

Wendy O. Knows


 The definition of monogamy is “the condition or practice of having a single mate during a period of time.” But how does that practice translate in today’s sex-charged society? The rules have changed. Gay marriage is spreading, swingers are on TV, and divorce rates are climbing. Monogamy is an option in this day and age, not the golden standard.

         Talking to several couples, those in monogamous relationships and those partaking in a polygamous lifestyle, the feedback is pretty consistent. Those happy in their monogamous and polyamorous relationships have no problem with other people swinging or committing. 

          Those unhappy in their monogamous relationships have a huge problem with swingers. However, the unhappy swingers were still unaffected by other’s sexual preferences. Do i sense jealousy? The proof is in the pudding. The unhappy couples expressed disdain for polyamorism because they are not receiving something they need out of their own relationship, and they are not opening alternative sexual avenues to try and improve their relationships. 

          Is it better to sleep with only one person and be unhappy, or to sleep with a chosen few partners and fulfill all your needs? Isn’t emotional cheating worse than the simple flesh act? Where do we draw the line between being a “slut” and being an open-minded individual who chooses partners based on his or her own beliefs? Morals are independent to each person, so why should monogamy apply to all across the board? 

          Monogamy is a traditional way of showing commitment. A common misconception is that monogamy is the only way to dedicate yourself fully to your partner, and when you achieve monogamy you do so because you found the only person you want to be with. This is not true for everyone. A person can love their partner and still seek out other partners that they can also love. 

          Polyamorism is about finding multiple partners who contribute to your wants and needs while still respecting the others involved. It is not about just having sex with multiple people. There is a connection between those swapping spit and it is a situation which everyone involved is informed about and participates in. This sounds a lot better than being cheated on, one night stands, and the increasingly popular “friends with benefits.” 

          While some couples may feel uncomfortable opening their relationships out of fear or jealousy, it can be beneficial in helping each partner identify what’s missing, what they’re still looking for, and spicing up their sex life. You never know what you will find until you lay to rest the preconceived notions of the past, and open yourself to love in all directions. 

           And, as always: safe sex is better than regrets. Use condoms!

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(The advice expressed it that solely in the view of the author.)

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