Makeup to Breakup

(Micah Brown)

Kseny Boklan

I suppose I had it coming to me. I should of know better than convincing myself that $32 for my favorite Trish McEvoy Lash Curling Mascara was a perfectly normal price to pay at Nordstrom. Love is blind, but what could I do?

In my younger years I tested my eyelashes on free Lancôme or Clinique sample mascaras. I also experimented with the latest magazine-promoted mascara crazes. Usually the brands available at the convenience stores, brands like Almay or Maybelline. Later I became a sophisticated consumer, often taking trips to Sephora stores. Whatever the word “organic” means for mascara, I tested it, without a doubt. All was futile, thanks to my oily complexion. At the end of the day, no matter what I tried, I looked like a raccoon.

I don’t remember exactly how I got sold on Trish, probably because the silicone-based formula doesn’t color the lashes, but rather coats them, making the effect long lasting but easy to peel off with just a splash of water. Unfortunately like most relationships, ours was ruined because of money.

During an awesome girl talk after an Inter-Club Council meeting, I was informed of a lawsuit against department stores. The only ones that I knew, owned by the Retail Defendants were Bergdorf Goodman, Bloomingdale’s Dillard’s, Macy’s, Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom, and Saks Fifth Avenue.

At first I was jealous of some lucky girl, who probably just came up big time in life. It turned out to be a class-action suit, with a settlement of $175 worth of free cosmetic products for the members of the class. The class was specific to customers who shopped from May 29, 1994 to July, 2003. Those dates were puzzling and if I truly cared, I would have found out more. In reality, everyone was eligible, except the usual nonparticipants in our great democracy, those under 18.

I always had a passion for exploring makeup, even so, I hate wearing it. Naturally I called Nordstrom’s to make sure this lawsuit was a reality. The lady informed me that such is the case and that I’m not the only one who knows about this; a clear warning about standing in line.

At first I was exited, but then doubts overcame my mind. Lets face it, the fact that these department stores charge more money for the same products that can be found else where for cheaper was not a revelation. Why did I feel cheated then for spending a bit over 30 bucks every two and a half months on new mascara?

That’s when I remembered the good old/new economy crisis. All of a sudden Trish looked like a bad investment, no matter how irresistible she made my eyelashes look. The list of freebies didn’t look impressive anymore. Even if I got all three of Lancôme’s freebie mascaras, they wouldn’t add up to even one of my dearly beloved eyelash goddess to me and especially not to the money I wasted on my vanity.

Cold reality hit me and I realized that the priorities of our times have shifted from wants to needs, desires to survival. I thought about my life’s motto;
“Give me the luxuries of life and I would willingly do without the necessities,” Frank Lloyd Wright said.

I felt a little better, and then I thought about all the geeks who invested into fake girlfriends by buying them a shiny red Ferrari, who probably left them soon after, for a bad boy from Huntington Beach. Not sure why, probably cause I’m a sadistic individual, but that thought made me chuckle. I like hypothetical thoughts about imaginary ‘others’. Don’t be a sucker, stay in school, I said to myself as I forgot all about my parent’s wasted money.

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