Confession of an Imelda wannabe

What? One pair of black pumps just isn’t enough… don’t judge me (Micah Brown )

Anna Gleason

You know how they say the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one? Well then, I admit it: I have a serious problem, a shoe problem that is.

Okay, so maybe it’s not the direst of situations. It could be worse; I could be addicted to crack. No, my drug of choice is the almighty shoe: peep-toed, pumps, boots, wedges, tennis shoes, you name it, I have a pair, and a staggering number of them to boot, no pun intended.

As of my last count, I believe the tally was around 50-55, not as bad as it could be, but just think, I could be spending that money on something much better, like killing brain cells during a night out with friends, but then what would I wear to match my outfit? See my dilemma? I mean come on, I know I’m a pack-rat with obsessive compulsive disorder, but 11 pairs of converse is a little much—even for me.

I seem to have this recurring nightmare that I open my closet and all my shoes fall on top of me, leaving me trapped, and no one finds me for a week. The police say it was just a horrific accident and if only someone had taken away her credit card. Trust me, I ain’t going out like that!

Most of these shoes I don’t even wear. I wear them once and then they sit in my closet, collecting dust and going out of style; well some have been in there so long they’re actually back in style. I try and tell myself it’s a good investment, my feet aren’t getting any bigger, and a pair of black pumps goes with everything.

But the madness that is my habit needs to stop before I do something really drastic, like spending $300 on something I’m going to wear once or twice… oh wait, too late for that too.

There is a glimmer of hope though. Just the other day as I was walking around the Irvine Spectrum, I noticed a shoe sale and, of course, had to go in and peek around. I found the cutest pair of black, leather, wide-heeled boots for only $108. Now for those guys reading this, that is actually a really good price for a pair of boots. Not only did they fit perfectly, they looked really good too. So instead of making an impulse purchase, I decided to put them on hold and call some friends for advice.

Unfortunately, all my friends were at work and unable to answer their phones, leaving me feeling as if I would break at any minute and go buy these oh so beautiful boots. Finally I called my mom and asked her to, “please talk me down of the shopping ledge!” She laughed, but agreed.

She helped me realize that another pair of shoes probably wasn’t the best idea in our current economical state. I agreed, if only to make her feel better since I don’t really give a crap about the economy as long as my feet are in style.

So see, it’s not so bad, but if you ever see me out looking at a pair of shoes and I can’t give a justifiable reason for needing them, I mean life or death, either I get these shoes or the world will be destroyed, please tell me to just put down the stiletto and back away so no one gets hurt.

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