Diversified police forces discourage racism

This illustration shows an example of the new diversified police force vehicles. (Illustration by Anibal Santos)

This illustration shows an example of the new diversified police force vehicles. (Illustration by Anibal Santos)

APRIL-FOOLSDue to the latest controversy in Ferguson, safeguards have been put into place on both the federal and state levels to ensure the proper treatment of criminals.

Fearing future accusations of hate crimes afflicted by an officer, the federal and state departments have constructed new fleets of able bodied officers with a representative from every major ethnic group: Pashtun, Tajik, Hazara, Uzbek, Aimak, Turkmen, Baloch, Albanian, Greek, Vlach, Roma (Gyp sy), Macedonian, Montenegrin, Vul can, Egyptian, Arab Berber, Native Hawaiian and other Pacific Islander, Asian, Indian, Spanish, Andorran, Portuguese, French, Ovimbundu…the list goes on.

Public opinion has been strongly positive.

“It is about time that we all have proper representation among the force,” protestor Amelio Marquez, one of the protestors, said. “This is an innovation that will surely be the end to any future cases like Michael Brown’s.”

Officer Generic McGee had been holding hands and singing “Kumbayah” with the group.

“The fact is that all races are out to destroy one another and we can’t afford any further racial conflict,” McGee said. “An example might be any Caucasian officer or citizen stopping any violent criminal with the necessary precautions.”

The new diversified fleet will be recognizable by their uniquely designed patrol vehicles specially planned to fit their needs.

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