(Flickr / Mustard Yellow Photography)
Now that I am in my 20s and so are my peers, I am starting to see engagement pictures on my Facebook feed. I know a lot of girls that I went to high school with that would slightly get jealous or even poke fun of them for getting engaged so young. I thought that was always rude because if they’re happy with the social construct of what marriage stands for then so be it.
In a recent report, it is shown that less women and men are actually tying the knot early and having their first marriage in their late 20’s. And more women are having less babies than ever. This is how we begin to be better than the last generation.
“According to a CDC report today, the number of babies born per female (ages 15 to 44) in the U.S. is the lowest ever.”
“According to a CDC report today, the number of babies born per female (ages 15 to 44) in the U.S. is the lowest ever.” said The Atlantic, and that this has become the norm.
But marriage and weddings have surrounded so many of us and it’s even become ingrained. I knew of so many girls who had “dream wedding” ideas since they were young. And we’ve been accustomed to seeing this tradition with these elaborate weddings on tv shows, films or even live events. We watched Prince William and Kate tie the knot and even Kim Kardashian.
But millennials are smarter than our parents were, because who has the money for an expensive wedding at the Holiday Inn or even the time to start raising kids? Who’s going to watch our kids while we are at Coachella or Burning Man? For the first time I think millennials are taking a step back on the “American dream” our parents had, because kids are serious business.
But why is marriage this huge party that everyone wants to throw? I never gave two shits about weddings or marriage but it’s only because I started to look at marriage through different cultures. And it varies, but here in the U.S marriage is for “love” while other countries do it for financial reasons or cultural.
Although in the US we practice serial monogamy, which means we could technically get married as many times as we’d please. Marriage is a con and you don’t have to prove to the world your love for someone with expensive rings and fancy parties. Not to mention how marriage erased anyone who was LGBTQ+ and erased any meaning of what their relationships with their partners stood for.
Not to mention how marriage erased anyone who was LGBTQ+ and erased any meaning of what their relationships with their partners stood for.
The fact is marriage is pushing heteronormativity till today even though gay marriage is now legal in all 50 states. Why does it push heteronormativity? Because “the bible says so”. I think a lot of people forget that marriage was a religious thing.
And even now gay people having a bite of this apple, it gave them a chance to be just like “regular” people. But I think it’s stupid that being normal or adjusting to social norms meant allowing people to marry each other.
It sounds like a con and diverting from actual issues that LGBTQ+ face. And in 2017, I just can’t see myself in a white dress walking down the aisle, I just don’t think it’s necessary anymore. And maybe it’s the rise of feminism that makes me what to move away from this patriarchal bond. But weddings are overrated and its all just a concept and a show.
And even if the divorce rate is falling, it is only because fewer people are opting out of marriage. So what I’m saying is, seriously don’t stress about being married at a certain age or ever getting married at all. And relax, you’ll find your “soulmate” and everything will turn out just fine- and hey you’ll even be saving way more money just in case they turn out to be a sociopath.
Photo credit:https://www.flickr.com/photos/naomi_pincher/28994651281/ (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)