Sister will have none of it

Riley Tanner

Who would pay good money to be scolded by a nun? The answer is a good many, and these folks almost filled the McKinney Theatre on Saturday, Nov. 19.

“Late Night Catechism” is a one-woman series of comedic lectures based upon the seven sacraments of the Catholic faith.

The show focused primarily on marriage and the last rights, or the “Anointing of the Sick” and titled “Till Death do us Part.”

Upon entering the theater, one couldn’t but notice that the audience was almost wholly comprised of people of at least fifty.

The show began as Sister Denise Marie Christina Fennell entered from the back of the theater in full habit and oversized rosary, and immediately forced a man in the front row to give him her gum in a procured napkin.

She made it very clear that she was Italian, and that she would always be addressed as Sister.

Her comedy was very audience driven, a mostly enjoyable back and forth that prompted the nun to think on her enshrouded feet.

One particularly hilarious event occurred as an elderly audience member applied chap stick while watching the show, only to be forced to remove the gloss and ridiculed after being reminded that Christ must have had chapped lips on the cross after hours in the desert sun.

The show wasn’t entirely one-sided however, as an anonymous audience member compared the “Miracle of Transubstantiation” to cannibalism, much to the chagrin of our dear sister.

She was further blindsided when a cute little elderly woman asked if Galileo Galilee ware the founder of Galileo Winery.

Later in the act, an impromptu prop failure interrupted her timeline of marriage lecture and forced the Sister to conscript the aid of a “Soldier of Christ” from the audience to hold up her poster while she lectured.

This particular warrior began sweating almost immediately, and the strain of holding his arm up understandably began to show as he was forced to hold the upraised position for many minutes as she droned on.

For someone married to God, she sure knew a lot about being married to other people. With our current audience, it was very ironic that she was giving marriage advice to people who’d been hitched for a minimum of twenty years.

This show makes the catholic sacraments about as funny as they can be while still being vaguely educational.

While there were many funny bits, the entrance fee of $30 may be a little steep. If I want to be scolded and lightly verbally abused, I’ll just go to work. 

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